Owen is one month old today.  Boy has it gone fast, it seems like I just had him.  But life with a new baby has adjusted well.  I’m tired, but what’s new.  Ash is okay with the whole thing, although he does act out a little.  Nate is tired too, but he is handling it well. So far so good.

Owen is a pain in the ass, literally.  The doc thinks I fractured my tailbone during delivery and my ass hurts.  Sucks when all you wanna do is sit and rock a baby.  He is sleeping about two hours a wack still, so I sleep about six hours a night.  Thank goodness for Nate, he gets home at 12:30 and is in bed by one only to get up with Ash at 7 so I can sleep.  Owen started smiling a little and he nurses like crazy, but that is easier to handle this time around too.  I told Nate that this is easier this time around and what did he think about number three?  So far I get a big fat “NO”.  I still have a few years to convince him. 

Nate still has a job for the year.  They took a cost of living increase freeze so that the county could have more money.  With that and other things, no job loss this year.  But that is still going well for him, his shift changes in June, here is to hoping for days for the summer.

I finally have decided that I need help.  All my life I have had problems, as a teenager I would wake in the middle of the night and barf for no reason.  Not a weight thing, because I was barfing bile.  All related to stress.  But that is not the only problem I have.  I have never sought help for it, but I finally made a doctors appointment to see if there is anything I can do to help.  The things I go through makes it hard on the whole family and now that Owen is here, I need to do something to ease the pressure.  I want to be happier and not so frustrated and angry all the time.  The doctor gave me some pain meds for the tailbone and after delivery.  When I take them, I feel normal.  Relaxed, happy and things don’t get me worked up.  I don’t feel normal, I feel like I am missing something like I am worrying about stuff too much.  I worry so much I vomit, I get sick on every trip we take, I have to drive or I get sick.  Then I get grumpy and poor Nate and Ash get the brunt of it because that is who I am around all the time.  Here is to hoping she can help me.

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