I know money does not buy happiness, but there are a lot of things I wish we had.

A real cell phone plan

A flat screen TV

A remodeled house

Money to go on a date with

Enough to not to have to budget every month

Start a college savings plan

And on and on.  And for all you out there, we budget to the penny.  Some months we can put in savings and some we can’t.  We are in debt with the mortgage and about $9000 worth of car and hospital bills (no credit cards).  Not much really, but after this baby comes we’ll have another set of hospital bills.  But, Nate hopefully will get two raises this summer (if there is not a pay freeze) and I’ll start working soon (like within three years).  But do I really need more?  No, more would not change much.  We don’t really need any of those things.  That is another quandary I have within myself – when is enough enough?  I remember one passage in the bible said something about not to worry where your clothes will come from because the lord will provide you with everything you need.  The key word “need”, who is needy and what is the definition of need?  These moments of want come over me, usually I am very content with what is going on.  It seems to be when I am lonely, or bored.  It is like I replace what I really need with a material item.  It always takes me a moment to realize what is happening, this time it because Nate is working and working.  I miss him lately. 

Any public servant has a duty to the public.  And when it calls, look out. I am just so glad he talked to me about the job change.  When he decided he wanted out of Englund Marine, he put his sights on the Marines.  He had even talked to a recruiter before me.  When he finally did talk to me, I was kinda shocked.  I did not want him to, and I did not want to be a military family.  It took many long talks to find out what it was that he needed, and that is when we came up with police officer.  What it really boiled down to, he wanted to be part of something bigger then he and to help make life a little better for the people around him.  So, when they call him and say they need him I know it makes him feel good.  I know that it only lasts for while, the spurts of working, but I worry that somehow we might lose each other.  Like work will take him over, and the kids will take over me.  I guess that is our struggle as a married couple – to not end up strangers at fifty.

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