You are currently browsing the monthly archive for February 2009.

There is always that one person in a family that stands out.  I don’t mean in a good way either.  They are the ones who make all the bad choices and the whole family seems to suffer because of it.  Usually they are an addict of some sort, drugs, alcohol, love and all the above.  Nate’s family has one and so does mine.  I think the way for me to deal with them is to accept them.  For the most part, there is nothing I can do.  Is there really anything I can do or say to make them better?  I really don’t think so.  And if the family chooses to help them, well that is their choice and they will suffer the consequences of that.  It makes me mad that the family’s suffers because of them, but again it is their choice to help them.  So, I guess I have reached a point, I don’t care.  They will do what they want no matter who says or does what.  So way should I worry?  I’ll miss them if they pass away, and I love them, I am just not going to suffer with them.  I don’t want my kids to be around drug addicts, or drunks.  They don’t need to see it, so I will chose to take them out of those situations if I have to.  But if a person can stay clean for the hour we visit – great!  If they chose to be high, then they will miss out on me and my kids.  But I will still love them just the same, just not support their decisions.


My feeds are not updating – talk about annoying.  So much for upgrading.

In other news, we have been busy.  I have finished sewing many projects, one being a hooter hider.  That’s right, a hooter hider.  It is for when you are nusing you can cover up without the hassle of a tossed blanket over the shoulder.  We’ll see how it works. 

We finished our bedroom, and I am so happy with it.  We moved in as soon as we could and it is comfy!  All we have to do now is lay carpet and trim in Ash’s room and we’ll have finished three bedrooms!  That means about 1/3 of the house is done, in less then one year.  I can’t wait to set up all the baby stuff and start hanging the clothes.  Hopefully all before he comes home….

I’ll post some pics of it all soon, I want to wait till it is all done.

We almost have our master bedroom back, this week?

We almost got in a car accident.

We almost ran out of milk.

I almost ran out of hot water while in the shower.

I almost have our taxes done.

I almost forgot about my doctors appointment tomorrow.

I almost started a sewing project today.

We almost made a good score on wood flooring.

It almost felt like summer today.

The world is full of almosts, what ifs, and close calls.  I really believe someone is looking out for us, some days it seems like it more then others.  This day was one of the lesser but yet still full of almosts.

Ever had a plan, just to find out that it might not work?  That is where I am tonight, not sure what to do. I had a plan A and a plan B, but now I think I need a plan C.  But I have no idea how to make it.  Uhhh, the unknown how it toys with me.

A couple of days ago, we had to go to the pound to get our dog a license.  It was just Nate and I and we went and looked at the dogs they had up for adoption.  I saw one I liked and we decided to head back with Ash and Gabe to check her out.  We spent over a hour there walking her and trying to see what she was like.  She was hyper, way too hyper for our family.  Gabe didn’t like her and she jumped all over Ash.  Not quite ready to train a dog and have a baby at the same time so we passed.  But Ash had a great time in the kitty room, he played in there the whole hour.  So, I think we are going to head back and pick out a cat when we can get a cat door installed. 

But I hate the pound, I felt so guilty leaving animals behind, even though I know it is best for us.  While we where there, three dogs where surrendered in one hour!  I watched one lady sit at the table and cry her head off while her puppy jumped all over her.  Very sad.  I didn’t want to make a mistake and take the wrong dog home, but it still sucked leaving them all behind.  I was glad we went and played with her though, it made me feel better about the whole idea.  It was worth the hour to decide not to get her.  The right animal or dog will happen if it supposed to.

Today was a wonderful trip for me. I got to leave Ash at home with Nate and head into town. The Moms club was putting on a sale and next door they had a car seat clinic at the fire station. So, I got to have someone show me how to put the infant seat in right plus I got to shop. It was great because my mom met me there and between the two of us, we found some great stuff. My mom picked me up a Boppy and a changing pad for our changing table (which I lost in the moves). Both something I really wanted. On top of that I found these great tunnels for Ash that fold up to a circle for $1 each and some clothes. Then my mom took me to lunch – which was great because I have new heartburn medicine! And the sun is out, now Ash just needs to wake up. It was great to hang with mom, and find some good deals.

Fell madly in love this week.

1.  I am a stock watcher.  I don’t know why, but I check the stock levels every day. 

2. I don’t like to cuddle, but I know the people around me need it.  When I sleep, leave me alone!  Even with Ash, the only time I really love it is when he wakes up.  It was also great when he was a baby!

3. I always wanted five kids, but I hate being pregnant.  So two it is.  And I really suck at being pregnant.

4. I asked Nate to marry me.  I don’t know if he would have, but I have always been a take charge kinda girl.

5. I am so like my mom, it is not even funny.  I don’t mind it, I think she is a wonderful person.

6. I can’t stand scary movies, I used to love them.  I find myself way too stressed out after I watch them.

7. Cream of Wheat is my favorite hot cereal.  With butter and brown sugar.

8. I am not a creative cook.  We have about the same thing every week.  But what I do cook is usually really good. 

9. Cheated once on a test – and got caught.  He didn’t turn me in, but failed me in the class.  Learned my lesson.

10.  Loved eighth grade.  We had the best teacher, I learned more from him then I think I will ever understand. 

11.  Has super hearing and smell.  And it sucks.  I hear every crack, whistle, bark, whine, drip and howl.  I smell everything too, like a cat pee smell in a rental or lingering smoke.  Sometimes I think I am crazy cause no one else can.

12.  Can make any food good for you bad.  Like Cheerios with sugar, or carrot sticks dipped in ranch.

13.  Named Ash after “Evil Dead”.  Not just my idea though, I just came up with it.

14.  Loves tacos.  And avocados.

15.  Hates “stuff”, and has a very clutter free house.  I don’t like dusting around things, so I find it easier just not to have them.  I don’t hold much stock in items I own, they don’t really mean much to me.   Except my photo albums.

16.  Thinks she has a clean house till she goes over to someone elses.  I used to be cleaner, I think having a kid changed that a little.

17.  Loves dogs, but hates everything that seems to come with them.  They are hairy, stinky, barky, whiny, but very lovable.

18.  Had the best cat in the world, then lost him.  Still very sad about that.

19.  Is so very proud of her husband.  If you knew him as  teenager then now, he is still the same but holds his head higher.

20.  Checks her email like phone messages – every time I come home.  I won’t answer them for weeks though.

21.  Refuses to get hooked on TV shows.  I hate it when I miss one, then I am so lost.

22.  Wishes I was a better crafter.  I want to scrape book, sew, and all that.  But I only have time for so many hobbies.

23.  Can’t stand bad drivers, especailly when they put me and my kids in danger.

24.  Had a doctor like Dr Hibbel from the Simpsons deliver Ash.  I can’t remember much from the delivery except his laugh.  I don’t even remember how much Ash weighed!

25.  Is trying her dandiest to take it one day at a time.  I like to pre plan and find deviance from the plan hard to deal with.  So, I am trying to let go and pray it will all work out.



From Facebook

If you are in a desperate need of something for kids to do – check out this site.   I don’t do her stuff exactly, but there are some great ideas to start with.

I know money does not buy happiness, but there are a lot of things I wish we had.

A real cell phone plan

A flat screen TV

A remodeled house

Money to go on a date with

Enough to not to have to budget every month

Start a college savings plan

And on and on.  And for all you out there, we budget to the penny.  Some months we can put in savings and some we can’t.  We are in debt with the mortgage and about $9000 worth of car and hospital bills (no credit cards).  Not much really, but after this baby comes we’ll have another set of hospital bills.  But, Nate hopefully will get two raises this summer (if there is not a pay freeze) and I’ll start working soon (like within three years).  But do I really need more?  No, more would not change much.  We don’t really need any of those things.  That is another quandary I have within myself – when is enough enough?  I remember one passage in the bible said something about not to worry where your clothes will come from because the lord will provide you with everything you need.  The key word “need”, who is needy and what is the definition of need?  These moments of want come over me, usually I am very content with what is going on.  It seems to be when I am lonely, or bored.  It is like I replace what I really need with a material item.  It always takes me a moment to realize what is happening, this time it because Nate is working and working.  I miss him lately. 

Any public servant has a duty to the public.  And when it calls, look out. I am just so glad he talked to me about the job change.  When he decided he wanted out of Englund Marine, he put his sights on the Marines.  He had even talked to a recruiter before me.  When he finally did talk to me, I was kinda shocked.  I did not want him to, and I did not want to be a military family.  It took many long talks to find out what it was that he needed, and that is when we came up with police officer.  What it really boiled down to, he wanted to be part of something bigger then he and to help make life a little better for the people around him.  So, when they call him and say they need him I know it makes him feel good.  I know that it only lasts for while, the spurts of working, but I worry that somehow we might lose each other.  Like work will take him over, and the kids will take over me.  I guess that is our struggle as a married couple – to not end up strangers at fifty.