I have a confession to make.  I have a blankie.  Nate teases me about it all the time.  I don’t know where the blanket came from, I think it was a gift from my stepmom. It is a quilt and it is perfect.  When I was pregnant with Ash, hot flashes came and have never left.  In fact, I think they got worse after he was born.  This blanket saved me, it is the perfect weight and does not make me too hot.  There is just something special about it, it makes me comfy.  It is all I sleep with now and I bring it with me when I travel.  It helps me sleep at other peoples houses, what little I do.  I even have a pillow that must come with me.  I don’t like the idea of someone else’s drool and eye crusties on a pillow.  But, now my blankie is falling apart.  I have sewed it once, but it is getting to non-repairable fast.  I really would like it to make it through this pregnancy, just so I can sleep at night.  I’ll miss it when it is gone.

On another note, I hate being pregnant.  I did not like it when I was pregnant with Ash and I am not liking it now.  In fact, I dislike this one even more.  With Ash, I had the unknown to look forward too.  I already want my body back, more like my digestive system.  I don’t know how I will handle a new born again, I remember nothing but a blur with Ash.  Just a little grumpy today.  And to make matters worse, I have no maternity clothes.  After Ash was born, I gave a few away, stuff I knew I would not wear again.  Then my stepbrother’s girlfriend ended up pregnant.  So right away I gave everything I had, plus almost all our newborn stuff.  She miscarried, they broke up and he can’t find the clothes.  Bummed.  But, this is a good excuse to need to go clothes shopping.  But I feel fat now and my clothes are already not fitting.  I think this one I will gain too much weight.  I just wish the vomiting would stop. Bluh

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