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I have a confession to make.  I have a blankie.  Nate teases me about it all the time.  I don’t know where the blanket came from, I think it was a gift from my stepmom. It is a quilt and it is perfect.  When I was pregnant with Ash, hot flashes came and have never left.  In fact, I think they got worse after he was born.  This blanket saved me, it is the perfect weight and does not make me too hot.  There is just something special about it, it makes me comfy.  It is all I sleep with now and I bring it with me when I travel.  It helps me sleep at other peoples houses, what little I do.  I even have a pillow that must come with me.  I don’t like the idea of someone else’s drool and eye crusties on a pillow.  But, now my blankie is falling apart.  I have sewed it once, but it is getting to non-repairable fast.  I really would like it to make it through this pregnancy, just so I can sleep at night.  I’ll miss it when it is gone.

On another note, I hate being pregnant.  I did not like it when I was pregnant with Ash and I am not liking it now.  In fact, I dislike this one even more.  With Ash, I had the unknown to look forward too.  I already want my body back, more like my digestive system.  I don’t know how I will handle a new born again, I remember nothing but a blur with Ash.  Just a little grumpy today.  And to make matters worse, I have no maternity clothes.  After Ash was born, I gave a few away, stuff I knew I would not wear again.  Then my stepbrother’s girlfriend ended up pregnant.  So right away I gave everything I had, plus almost all our newborn stuff.  She miscarried, they broke up and he can’t find the clothes.  Bummed.  But, this is a good excuse to need to go clothes shopping.  But I feel fat now and my clothes are already not fitting.  I think this one I will gain too much weight.  I just wish the vomiting would stop. Bluh


This is a shout out to Nicole!


Us tech tards need help every now and then

We love a fireplace. There is something special about a fire in the morning and one late at night. It just feels good. While in Waldport, we had a fireplace but it was an open face. Nate and I had talked about putting in a insert and had planned to, then we decided to sell. This house had an ugly, I mean ugly, gas insert installed. And now there is talk of a possible 40% hike in gas prices this year. That means over $200 a month just to heat this house during the winter! We both knew that we wanted to replace the gas insert with wood, but the rate hike made us move a little faster then planned. First we bought the stove, which was an adventure in itself. We picked the one we liked, which was a flush mount so we would not have to add any hard flooring for clearance. Then they call, on back order till the end of November! That means Christmas is when we would finally get to use it. So I was on the hunt. Now, no one has wood stoves right now, they are selling like hot cakes. We found one in Salem. Luckily my mom was camping in Portland and was nice enough to drive down to pick it up for us. Now it is installed and ready to go. Then next step was the wood. We found a guy to deliver a log truck load for $900 bucks. We figure we will get about 10 cord our of it. We should burn no more then 3 cord a year. Not bad – $270 for heat for one year – that could have been one month of gas! Nate’s dad offered for us to dump the load at his house, and we have been picking away at it. Von is going to give us 2-3 cord of his seasoned wood and take out of our pile next year. I am working my way off the grid!

Since Nate and I moved back to Astoria, we both knew that it was time for us to try again to add to this family.  We went off birth control in June and I am now somewhere between 7 weeks and 12 weeks pregnant!  I am such a nut sometimes, I don’t keep track of stuff that I don’t care about.  Thus, I did not keep any track of the “last period”.  So, we are working off blood work to determine how far along we are.

So, it started off with bang, I barfed almost non stop for two weeks and my boobs felt like they where going to explode (though nothing like when milk comes in – that is another story).  I thought I was going to die.  I begged my in-laws to make dinner for Ash for the two weeks and poor Nate got almost no sleep as I begged him to get up in the morning.  Then I woke up and it is gone.  Still nauseated, but I can eat, cook and be normal for the most part.  Now is a good time to mention my step mom was sick (barfing) for nine months solid for 24 hours a day (while sleeping too) with all three of her kids.  I have it good in comparison. 

Now, I feel fine.  I am worried of cousre.  We lost a baby three years ago and it lingers weather I like it or not.  But, if it happens again I now I will be much more prepared for it.  Last time, I was invincible and it hit hard.  Now I know it is a possibility and I know why it happens and how often.  I have faith it will be fine.

So, I made an appointment with the only office in town that has OBGYN’s and I was not impressed by it.  But I am going to give it more time, I have six months to find the right one.  It was a group orientation, so I went with four other women and only one had kids.  It was lame, and it took three and half hours to do.  It should have been for first time moms only.  They reviewed what to expect in the first trimester, briefly went over how the practice works and what happens in labor and took blood and insurance information.  AND there was NO snacks!  How do you make women sit for so long with no snacks.  Luckily I was brought my own, but I was starving when it was done.  I was last in line for blood and the doctor asked if I wanted to see her, I told her I was leaving to eat and could not see her for my stomach would not allow it!  I never saw a doctor!  They see you when you are 10-12 weeks, which is fine.  But I did not need that orientation.  And the other women with three kids, she had that office deliver her last two and was having some problems with this pregnancy.  She just wanted to talk to the doctor, and they made her sit thought the whole thing too!  How lame is that.  They should have just made her an appointment.  I figure I will leave my suggestions the next time I go.  OPTIONAL ORIENTATION!

That is that, I will continue to post more about it as it comes.  We are not getting too excited yet, we’ll probably save that when we see the baby is alive and has a skull.

Does you kid have a favorite show or movie?  The one that they beg to see over and over again?  When I was a kid, all we had was movies.  I remember renting the same movie over and over again from Video Horizons.  The two that stand out: Black Stallion and The Last Unicorn.  It must have driven my mom nuts to pay to rent the same movies every time!  But I loved them and need less to say I own the latter now.  I wasn’t the only one though. I had a friend down the road who had to watch Bambi every night to go to sleep.  I thought she was weird.  Now my son has decided his favorite, Monsters Inc.  It is the first time he has sat for more then 1/2 hour and he begs to see it when he wakes up.  We have started giving him about 1/2 – 1 hour of TV time when he wakes up from nap and in the morning.  It works out, and he likes the time to wake up, if we get too busy in the morning or after nap, the rest of the day is horrible.  He is just like dad, morbid scary shows.  What will be his favorite when he is sixteen?

BTW, our son is named after the picture I picked for this post. I liked the name and Nate loved the movie. Like we are not obsessed with a certain movie.


First, it was probably not a good idea to post “money” issues.  Second I was hasty in how much the money will be.  Not totally clear on the rules, I think it is more like 1.8% * salary * years worked.  So maybe about 30,000 a year, and I have no idea for how long.  Don’t listen to me, I don’t know what I am talking about!!  Now I need a job to retire and pay for TV!!

Now that I am back in Astoria, I realize I miss a lot from down south. To name a few:

Charges $65 for library which has no book share and it is tiny in comparison. No books on potty training!! Storytime programs stops for periods at a time.

No recreation center – only the pool – but it is a freakin’ awesome pool

It has Dairy Queen!!

Very good Sunday Market!!

Fair sucked

Crappy public transportation

Tons of parks all around town, and Fort Stevens


Local literacy center offered FREE tutoring after school, playgroup for toddlers (craft, dance, snack and gym) and a bus ride home for FREE. Playgroup was twice a week and tutoring every day all ages. So awesome. It was put on by the town of Waldport

Recreation center was huge- exercise room, basketball courts, soft room for small kids. Had a $1 once a week playgroup with toys- INSIDE.  Pool was just a lap pool

Library was FREE, and book shares from Tillamook to Corvallis for FREE. Had story time every week

Fair was sooo much fun

Had crappy public transportation

Hardly any parks, but you could not drive on the beach, great when you have kids!!

The Aquarium!!


Now, I guess what I miss the most is the library and the playgroup.  It feels like Astoria is about the tourists, how to make them happy and bring the money in.  While in Lincoln county, it just felt more like they wanted to local community to grow.  If I where to push anything on the city, it would be to change the library.  I am a strong believer in reading and feel like everyone should have access.  My goodness, Knappa has a free library!!  Astoria has such a lack of resource material, it is just missing something.  I have talked to a few people and they say Seaside has a wonderful program, and book sharing for FREE.  I just can not justify the drive.  Enough complaining, I am so very glad to be home.

BTW, I don’t like Pepsi or Coke

Note to Ron: Not very nice to leave a comment on someone’s blog telling them they need to “clearly grow up” or to tell them they need a “real” job or education.  How do you know I am not pumping gas to get by, or to feed my family.  I real job doesn’t mean anything.  What means someting is you love your family, you work hard at the job you do have and do what you can when you can to improve yourself and find “your” happiness in life without being a burdon on anyone but yourself.  Thank you.

I feel old lately. I have about three years to thirty, and I don’t know if I like it.  Yesterday, Nate and I had a conversation about retirement.  What are we gonna do?  When Nate got the job, we really didn’t have a clue what then benefits where.  We just knew he needed the job.  So as I panicked on our finances (I always do), we managed to figure out how much he will have.  He is part of the PERS program and falls under a special category because he is a deputized officer.  They give him 1.8 percent of his last average salary for how ever many years he put in, and they won’t pay out until he is 60 years old.  I don’t want to tell you all how much he makes, but he does make enough for me not to have to work, carry a mortgage and one small car payment.  And there is nothing left after that.  He is 27 now, so if he doesn’t quite or get fired, he will have put in 33 years when he hits 60.  That means they will pay him 1.8 percent till his ninety third birthday.  I hope we don’t live much longer then that!!  If we live longer then that, we’ll sell the house and it can pay for a home!  If he can can gross 4,500 to 5,000 a month thirty years from now.  That means he would get 8,100 to 9,000 a month from them or about a $100,000 a year for thirty three freakin years!!  I can’t believe it, I about lost it, that is THREE MILLION DOLLARS!!  And if we get social security and when I start working and start my retirement, my goodness we will be just fine.  I told Nate he can’t get sick, he can’t die all those things that you never see coming, our retirement counts on it.  This all started when we where talking about the house.  We don’t have money every month to put into it.  We have an account with Englund Marine that we are debating on liquidating to pay for the house remodeling and to get rid of the monthly car payment or for me to finish school if I want to (still would rather just answer phones at a school – low stress).  It means we pay taxes on the money, plus the 10% fee and we will not reap the benefits thirty years from now when it quadurples in value.  I know all you money people will tell me to leave it be and get a home equity line of credit – but I want my house done!!  I don’t want anymore payments!!  I want to own my car!!  I want, I want, I want.  And I wanna retire someday

Okay, Nate and I have not been fans of the TV for some time, I hate paying for it not watching it.  We bought the house in Waldport in 2004, we had TV up till then.  Then in late 2005 I found out I was pregnant and we decided to get cable in 2006.  After that, I tried to cancel it and the cable company could not get someone out to turn it off.  I called three times.  After that, it is their problem.  We had free cable till we moved out in 2008.  Now, we did not get it when we moved up, in March.  And I hate not having it.  There is no cable out here, so we decided on DISH Network.  Forty dollars a month!!!  I like channels like, National Geographic, Discovery, Animal Planet and so on.  They only come in the giant package, lame-o.  After a year it goes up to fifty-seven!!  YACK!!  I’ll need to get a job in 2009 to pay for my TV!!  But I get to see Yo Gabba Gabba again!! This is what I am paying for